We have all the time in this world to be old. Now I just have to be just a little bit older than a pubertal adolescent male… ------ I have been pondering on many things lately, thinking about relationships, public health, academics, nutrition, elderly in makati. Darn. And I feel like my whole life is so boring, I can't even hold hands with the one I love, I can't even have the one I love around my arms just in time when I need a hug the most. I feel like my whole life is going sooo stagnant and I just can't do anything to keep it flowing, moving, and prevent this boring life of mine from being the malaria breeding place that it is already becoming. You know what's weird, I am with someone and just in time when I thought that every thing is going soo perfectly fine, I will realize that this life is such a big joke, that I have a knack for complicated things, I feel like complications and I are opposite poles pulling towards each other, making each other's life turn like roller coaster ride. I have a not so perfect relationship, impaired by lack of communication, aggravated by love that you think is lust, interfered by religion when in real life, faith doesn't really have to matter because what matters most is love, just love. Because love goes beyond boundaries of religion, faith and destiny, it traverses all the complicated things and if we just let it control us, everything will be perfect. If we can just stop thinking for a moment, enjoy every moment that we have now, then everything will be perfectly fine. If we can just put all our sub/unconscious thoughts at the back of our head for a moment, then what we'll see are real smiles, are real passion, real love that is not lust. I love you. But I want to be loved the way the way I love you. And I guess, I just can't do anything about it. P.S. I am still tired. And I have an empty bed. And I am sad. I am sad that you don't even ask how I am, how I feel, and where I am.