LWUA bash called ‘insensitive’

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BY JP LOPEZ

THE Local Water Utilities Administration, a government-controlled corporation, held a "lavish" feast for its 36th anniversary Wednesday night, a virtual slap on the face of half a million Filipinos victimized by storm "Ondoy" who are scrounging for relief goods.

President Arroyo arrived at 9 p.m.

Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano said that while most celebrations have been cancelled to donate to victims of Ondoy, the move of LWUA to proceed with its anniversary is the "height of insensitivity."

"Kawalanghiyaan na ito," Cayetano said

A source said LWUA ordered 500 reservations for cocktails and 250 reservations for a seven-course dinner buffet from Henry’s Catering Service.

A check with menu showed the catering cost about P200,000 (at P510++, P530++ to P610++ per head).

The celebration, complete with a live band, was held at the LWUA main office on Katipunan avenue, Balara, Quezon City, which was one of the worst hit by Ondoy floods.

The menu consisted of baked mussels with olive oil and garlic as appetizer, "sinigang" soup, and roast pig.

The main course included "kare-kare," chicken barbeque, squid "salpicado," spinach with chicken and garlic, "pancit" sotanghon (or canton guisado) and steamed jasmine rice.

Desserts included fresh seasonal fruit platter and "buko pandan" salad.

Assorted sodas, "guinumis" and home-brewed iced tea were also served.

It was not yet known if Prospero Pichay, LWUA chairman and administration ally, shouldered the expenses.

A source said the celebration was prepared not actually to celebrate the anniversary but to impress President Arroyo.

The source said Cabinet Secretary Silveste Bello arrived at around 8:20 p.m.

The source said Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita and political adviser Gabriel Claudio were also in attendance.

The source said the highlight of the event was the signing of watershed development memorandum of agreement between LWUA, DENR and Philippine Association of Water Districts.

The MoA was signed since they could no longer wait for President Arroyo.

The source said packed meals of "pakbet," pork or fish, with rice were distributed to some 400 LWUA employees.

The LWUA covered court was also covered with tarpaulins of President Arroyo and Pichay.

LWUA also placed a two-full-page advertisement in a major newspaper yesterday.

Cayetano also said he has been informed that the National Disaster Coordinating Council has also used Henry’s Catering Service for its meetings in connection with relief operations for victims of Ondoy.

my mind's still fresh from the news article i've just read moments ago.

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this one's from malaya newspaper.

im home now. and out of the blue, i am hating myself for wishing that my parents will throw a feast because i am here home. so many people are still suffering at the moment and another storm is coming along. i feel hopeless. i feel like the few clothes and money i've donated are not enough to make me feel better, to make me feel that i have made even a little difference.

hearing LWUA throwing a real feast to impress the most corrupt person (GMA that is) costing God-knows-how-much makes me sick down at the pit of my stomach. please God. save their soul. or take it, il be way happier.

I have been giving much thought lately on how pathetic my life is. Someone asked me yesterday what I love doing aside from studying. And as much as I want to answer in the fastest time possible, it took me a while to dig deep through the labyrinthine maze that is my brain., to answer a very simple question compared to my exams in Public Health. And so I thought it was simple.

 

Err. Ahh. The confusion came out naturally. Unlike my exams in PH, this time, I wasn't able to prepare myself with loads of knowledge regarding the things nerds like me love the most aside from studying. Blame my reflex centers for telling my friend that I read books (after a series of ahhh, errr, uhmmm). Followed by: "yes I read books, but the thing is, I haven't read a single non-academic book for ages" (meaning, I still study when I am not studying).

 

Aside from reading books, hmm, I told this friend that I love going to the movies. But then I realized that the last movie I saw on the big screen was Harry Potter. [end of the story]

 

You see. I am not really good in doing conversations with people I've just met. Ironically, I call myself a people person. I call myself a public speaker. I call myself a charismatic politician. But casual conversations? O I just have the ability to turn all  casual conversations to the most awkward silence and cluttering that you can ever imagine.

 

Siguro the reason why I am an efficient politician is my ability to be nice to people. But the thing is, it ends there. I don't like making new friends and doing conversations that will last more than 3 minutes especially with someone I've just met, a complete stranger that is. What makes me an efficient politician is my ability to be nice for 3 minutes to people who I know will never appear in my life again, people that I know I will never talk to after the elections.

 

The problem with me doing casual conversations is that if it lasts more than the 3 minute grace period, my major personality flaw will start to manifest. I will start talking like we've been friends since forever, I will start telling you stories I only share to people dear to me. I transform into a kid that can easily be bribed with candies and be kidnapped all at the same time.

 

I trust easily. Surpass my 3 minute rule and then, we can be friends. Surpass that 3 minutes of plain casualty, and I shall give you all the right to hurt me.

 

_*blink

Search google if you want to know about candlestick graphs. :)

 im tired. un lang. no time. no time for any form of physical activity that drains much much energy (e.g. masturbation). no time for blogging. not now.

tell me na i have subjects other than special studies/thesis. please. i am sick of nutritional status. hahaha

I have been a strict believer of the notion that everything that is happening now is merely a consequence of all the decision's we've made yesterday or even years ago. Yes, I believe that we are liable for all the regrets, pain, sorrow or happiness that we are experiencing. Confounders lang ang ibang tao, risk factor for the consequence, the third variable that complicates things and provide under/overestimation of feelings. Confounder… blinds us from the truth that at the end of the day, it is us who choose what we want to feel, it is us who can channel the negative energy into something fruitful, it is us who choose how we want to be affected by life in particular. We are who we want to be. We are the reflection of our actions.

 

I went to Bambang  yesterday. And it's only my second time visiting this medical supplies paradise to think we have needed lab  stuff since day 0 in the BSPH program. Dakilang asa, parasito, whatever you call it, I don't care, but yes, I always ask my colleagues who'll be visiting the place to buy the things that I need or I just borrow from them. Tipid. My first Bambang experience was during organic chemistry days. Blame the clumsy me for breaking a distillation set-up while cleaning them after the experiment. First attempt to find the missing distillation piece was a failure. 2nd visit was yesterday, to find an antique glass container that I broke weeks ago from Medical Microbiology Lab. According to Mam Mean, I won't be allowed to graduate if I won't be able to replace that antique glass (yes, according to her, it's way older than me). And couldn't I get any luckier? Like that precious distillation piece, what I have broken is a precious fragile thing, hard to find. Like love.

 

Bambang doesn't fix broken glass, they sell something new. But I think old, broken things are not meant to be replaced, they can never be replaced. You just have to simply start over and create new memories with a new piece. Like love.

 

Like last night. Maybe the reason why I am not really happy with anyone is because I have let that real happiness slip away years ago without me doing anything to chase it. I was wrong for not wanting it too bad, no, I was wrong for not showing how I wanted it too bad. I was wrong for misinterpreting wrong signals. I was wrong for being afraid. I was wrong for not standing up for a love that I know can make me real happy. I was wrong for letting go. I was wrong for letting her go.

 

And last night, seeing her again, I knew at that moment that she can never be replaced, and there will always be a significant space in my brain (and heart, sige na nga, pagbigyan na ang false notion na loving is a heart thing) for her, exclusively for her. And Iris and Aerol were right, mahal ko pa cya. Thing is, love is not always enough.

 

Maraming problema. Maraming dapat gawin. Maraming grown-ups na usapan.

Pero kung mayroon akong mahalagang natutunan, yan na siguro ay ang wag isisi sa iba ang mga pagkakamali na ginawa. Madalas kasi, para gumaan ang kalooban, ginagawa nating lahat para ichannel ang pagkakamali sa isang tao na confounder lang ang role sa problema. Kahit ang katotohanan, tayo an gmay kagagawan. Tayo ang dapat sisihin. Tayo ang nagmamature-mature-an na parang alam lahat ng bagay.

 

And this entry should end with sorry.

 

For the love that I have allowed to slip from my grasp. For the broken glass that can never be fixed. For the time lost. For the letters that have transformed this blog to life, to my life. I am sorry.

 

_*blink

It has been a while since I wrote something non-academic. Academic life is taking all the stored carbohydrates in my body. I am at the point where even my protein and fat reserves are depleted. I am tired. No, I am more than tired. I am a thin line away from depression. And the only things keeping me insane are naruto, seconds with friends, short naps and shorter sleeps. Thank you Lord.

 

Today is  my epic fail day. I got the results of my first exam in environmental health. Hours before, I took my 2nd EH exam. No idea if I aced my first exam. Not that I need to know if I got a high grade or whatever because I am not the type of student with the "i-will-bawi-next-exam-promise" attitude. I ace my exams. No bawi. Just beat the previous score and set another standard.

 

And yes, first EH exam is an epic fail. My lowest PH major exam and the first exam I ever failed. My first 60-ish exam in 1 year, my 2nd 60-ish exam in my PH Major Life (that's biochem so its purely understandable). Yes, 60-ish in Environmental Health.

 

When I was in high school, I remember winning the top spot in a Regional Environmental Quiz Bee. Last last summer, I even got a 1 for my geology class which is, mind you, a simplified version of EH. And my favorite subject when I was a freshman in Cavite Science High School is Earth Science, which I topped by the way. Now this.

 

It's like being mobbed without even knowing the reason behind everything, next thing you know, you're lying bleeding on the floor. Bleeding yes, painful, hmm,, I am not really sure.

 

May anesthetic effect pala ang failure lalo na kapag first time.

 

Totoo pala yun. Na sa sobrang lakas ng epekto nya sa akin, hindi ko na maramdaman. Hindi ko man lang masabi kung malungkot ba talaga ako o nakagetover na ako (habang kinakanta ni avril lavigne ang get over it song from allyouwillneverknow album). Siguro nagrarationalize lang ako. Na EH lang yan, tangina, ano ba namang subject yan. Iniisip na hindi naman talaga ito sukatan ng kakayahan ko bilang isang matalinong tao. Ayaw ko rin naman na isipin na mababa lahat kasi hindi un maganda at sobrang unhealthy ung thought. Siguro ganoon na kabarren ang emotions ko, devoid of anything. Winiwish ko nga, kahit konting remorse lang for myself, pero wala. Im vacuous. Like a dead cell.

 

Exhausted. Frustrated. An inch away from major depression. Ako yan.

can't bum on a cold day.

classes were suspended today because of the bad weather. and even though the rain gives us all the reason to stay at home, hug our pillows and sleep like there's no suffering crippling us today, we just can't.

every one from our class is now experiencing ze burden of ze disease, este being a PH senior. requirements are piling like words in level 25 typing maniac. deadlines are like different faces of death waiting at the end of the road.

i have no time for myself. and i don't know if i have any time for anything now. and i think this is the best feeling i've had for months. that anesthesia brought by studying. and now, all the effects i've long for are manifesting. i am getting the ultimate numbness. i am stone again.

and i love it this way. and i love it when i am not human. i love it when im devoid of any emotions, for anything that appeals to issues of the heart and issues of the lacrimal drift me away from being choleric, towards tranformation to my melancholic alter ego.

i love it when im heartless. for i will never remember i am loveless.

Ang sarap pala  gumising ng maaga. Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan ako huling bumangon ng 3am na napakagaan ng pakiramdam, na walang longing para bumalik sa kama at ipagpatuloy ang naudlot na tulog. Ang weird, dahil sa unang pagkakataon, nawalan ako ng ganoong attachment sa tulog at hindi nagalit sa Total Eclipse of the Heart na gumising sa akin sa bawat umaga, ang kanta na sumisigaw sa tenga ko ng mga salitang "bangon na, walang almusal, pero wala kang choice dahil ito  ang buhay mo".

 

Ang sarap gumising ng maaga kasi ang tahimik. Ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin. Parang wala mashadong nagsasalita at parang normal lang magkaroon ng panis na laway. Naglakad ako kanina sa pedro gil papunta sa jollibee para kumain. Ang weird dahil ngayon lang yata ako nakapaglakad ng peaceful sa pedro gil, na hindi iniintindi ang occurrence ng mga possible mandurukot, na hindi iniitindi ang exam, na hindi nagmememorize ng kung anu anong mga bagay habang naglalakad. Peace sa pedro gil, tangina, that’s something.

 

6.46pm palang, nakatulog na ako. Nagising ng 3am. Pinakamahimbing na tulog ko na siguro to pagkatapos ng ilang exams na dumaan sa buhay namin. Ganoon ba ako kapagod? Na kahit ang sobrang gutom ay hindi kayang gisingin ang pagod kong utak at katawan. Sa totoo lang, sobra na tong pag-aaral na to, akala ko utak ko lang ang kaya nyang gawing manhid, but nooo, pati katawan ko, parang nagkakaarthritis ang bawat kalamnan ko dahil sa pagod sa pagaaral. Weird lang, na kahit naeexhaust ako, wala pa rin akong ibang gustong gawin kung hindi ang magexam at magaral bago nito. Hahaha. Ako na ang nerd, I kno w!

 

Sa umaga, ang dami mong bright thoughts. Narealize ko na masarap pala magsulat kapag umaga lalo na't kumpleto ang tulog mo. Narealize ko na ang sarap din pala magedit ng articles para sa public herald kapag umaga at mabilis ang flow ng words mula sa utak ko papunta sa monitor ng laptop ko para matapos ang paper na due mamayang hapon para sa clinical chemistry.

 

Sa umaga, hindi ko rin maisip ang mga problema ko, sa sobrang gaan ng pakiramdam, parang ako an gpinakamasayang tao sa mundo, parang hindi ako nalilito, parang hindi ako nasasaktan dahil sa ibat ibang factors na sagabal sa matiwasay na buhay ko. Hindi ko naiisip si major complication. Ang naiisip ko lang ngayon ay ang mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari, ang mga bagay na nakakapagpasaya sa akin, at higit sa lahat, ang kahalagahan ng living life to your fullest.

 

Wala namang mawawala sa akin. Ang tagal ko ng pinoproblema kung bakit ang tagal ko ng single at wala pa ring dumadating sa buhay ko. Sa totoo lang, masaya naman ako ng ganito. Aanhin ko naman ang pag-ibig kung ako lang ang nakakaramdam nito. Aanhin ko naman ang pag-ibig na hindi ko naman kaya suklian. Aanhin ko naman an pag-ibig na swak nga pero wala namang dala kung hindi maximum at major complications sa happy academic life ko.

 

At hindi na rin ako masaya sa sex. At masaya ako na masaya ako na ganito.

 

:)

 

Siguro dapat ko ng subukang mag-aral sa umaga para maiba naman.

Matagal din akong hindi nakaramdam ng kilig na naglalast ng ilang oras at tipong hanggang sa pagtulog, hindi ko maalis ang excess  red blood cells sa cheek capillaries ko.

 

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko naman sigurado kung dapat ba talaga ako kiligin. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ang taong gusto ko sa mga sandaling ito ay ganoon din ang nararamdaman para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung interesado ba siya sa akin o sadyang malishoso ako, at lahat yata ng salitang binitawan nya ay may dalang ibang kahulugan sa aking isip. Kung baga, lahat na lang ng sinabi nya, pakiramdam ko, mixed signals.

 

Mixed signals. Tamang tamang distraction para sa isang estudyante na may dalawang magkasabay na exam sa Tuesday. Tamang tama lang para hindi ako patulugin ngayon gayong 7am pa ang call time ko bukas para sa group meetin gnamin for health program and administration. Tamang tamang kilig para sa isang tao na konting konti na lang ay baka maging bato na dahil sa kawalan ng pag-ibig.

 

Halos isang oras din kaming magkausap ni aira. Sabay nagploplot ng mga bagay bagay para sa aming mga sari sariling endeavors on love and libido. Si aira ang isa  sa pinakamatagal ko ng kaibigan at kung mayroong higit na nakakakilala sa akin, sa tingin ko, siya yun. At masaya ako na maging ang mga detalyeng ganito sa buhay ko ay nagagawa kong ishare sa kanya, kahit maaga pa ako bukas at 3am na at pagod na ang laryngeal muscles ko sa kakasalita at kakairit sa sobrang kakiligan.

 

Buti na lang at nagkakaintindihan kami. At the end of the day, hindi pa rin maalis sa isip namin ni aira ang tanong kung bakit ganito kami pinanganak? Kung anoman yun,  kami na lang ang nakakaalam.

 

Clue: related ito sa love and libido at kung ano pang bagay na nagsisimula sa L.

Never pala ako nagsabi ng thoughts ko on the results of our Special Studies grouping. Matagal din namin hinintay kung sino ang makakasama namin for SS/thesis kasi obviously, mahalaga ang team dynamics sa mga academic endeavors na kagaya nito, lalo na't mataas ang pagvalue ng UP at ng College namin sa pagproduce ng outstanding researches na talagang may maicocontribute sa Public Health.

 

Alam ko marami rin sa amin ang nagkaroon ng maraming disturbed sleep dahil sa suspense na dulot ng SS grouping. Kami nga ng mga kaibigan ko, gumawa pa ng listahan ng mga ayaw namin makasama, yung tipong gagawin namin lahat para wag makasama ang mga taong yon.

 

Last week, first time namin magmeet for PH 196/199 (Special Studies), at dito nirelease ang final groupings namin and department designation. Napunta ako sa department of nutri. Napunta rin sa akin ang dalawa sa mga nasulat ng mga kaibigan ko na pinakaayaw nila makasama (pero isa lang ang talaga ang ayaw ko sa groupmates ko dahil si girl ay marami na rin kaming napagsamahan na mga group activities at we can work well together). Lima kami.

 

Sa totoo lang, wala naman akong naramdaman na kahit anong panlulumo ng nakita ko ang mga groupmates ko. Sa totoo lang, hindi naman ako nageexpect na mapupunta ako sa isang ideal na scenario  dahil never naman yata nangyari sa akin yun. At sa totoo lang, mas mabuti na rin na ganito ang nangyari kasi bukod sa challenging, bad times really bring out the best in you (pero kasama na rin jan ang pinakapanget na mood). And non-ideal circumstances make us strive harder for equilibrium and stability.

 

Naramdaman ko yung look of contempt from all my classmates, actually hindi ko alam kung contempt ba yun, awa, tuwa, o kung ano ng makita nila na napunta ako sa Nutri (na parang pinakaaayawan ng karamihan) at kasama ko ang pinakaaayawang groupmate ng mga kaklase ko. Pakiramdam ko nga, sinadya ang grouping na to (na totoo naman, I mean, sinadya na sa akin sila mapunta) dahil sa aking self-proclaimed neutralization powers.

 

Marami pang ibang factors akong nakikita na pwedeng maging hindrance sa productivity ng group namin. Pero kahit ano pa man, hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa. Kanina lang, unang bes kami nagmeeting ng madugo tungkol sa topic proposal. First meeting pa lang namin, naramdaman ko na yung tensyon, pagkakaiba-iba ng mga opinyon at inclinations, kahit ako, bilang leader, hirap na hirap magneutralize ng ilang utak at ideyang nagkakalampagan. Isa na siguro to sa mabibilang kong circumstances na nahirapan ako magfacilitate ng isang group. To think people person daw ako at magaling daw sa group dynamics.

 

Suddenly, naalala ko ang lecture ni Prof. Silva on the traits of a good leader, and narealize ko, hindi pala talaga madali na maglead at magmanage ng isang group. Lalo na kung iba iba kayo ng pagtingin sa mga bagay bagay. Sabi nila, there is beauty in diversity. At malakas ang pakiramdam ko na everything will turn out well, mahirap naman talaga sa umpisa pero walang imposible.

 

Ano ba. Hahah. Ako pa. :)